Live life as it is~

The war goes on and on in this dark night.

Hazily searching within ourselves,

we try to find the path to salvation;

clinging to hopes and beliefs

even despair in desperate times.

I want to stretch out my hand

to that far flying bird in the sky

but something inside me stalls it from moving;

my fear of dissent, fear of rejection,

fear of a sudden freedom being thrust upon me.

Thinking it is cliche to say

‘ I don’t know what I want anymore ‘,

no words come out of my mouth.

I am still standing, still there,

quietly, silently, in the drifting snow.

Being just another figure

in the quickly disappearing crowd,

I wonder if I’d be the only one remaining.

I wonder if that will make me

something more than just another figure.

I try hard to stop my bursting tears

and I succeed, as I always do.

I want to shout out this pain,

I want to cry till I can’t cry anymore

yet all I do is move forward with the crowd.

‘ Maybe one day, it’ll all get better ‘ - 

it’s amazing how people spend their whole lives

believing in such a misleading line.

Trying desperately to reach the horizon

nobody wants to take a look at the gravelled path.

The war still continues inside me.

Acting composed, I firmly take a step ahead

going with the flow, as they say.

And I wonder if moving forward like this

won’t just bring me to the end of my life.